6 February 2015
Uni Napping Room, Chocolate Ban, Labour’s Tuition Fee Promise…
Labour plans to cut tuition fees to £6,000
We all remember how well it went when the Liberal Democrats promised to abolish tuition fees altogether if they entered government.
But it seems Labour has forgotten about that ordeal altogether – and is planning to slash annual tuition fees to £6,000 if they’re elected in May.
There’s little point cracking open the bubbly if you’re already studying. And although the students of tomorrow might be rubbing their hands with glee, universities are bricking it – and have warned they would be forced to cut services that would affect the quality of education on offer.
An open letter of 20 unis even went as far to say that the tuition fees cut could make it harder for disadvantaged students to become undergrads.
Our take: This is gonna be a tricky one for Ed Miliband. Although the initial news that tuition fees were trebling was hard to swallow, it’s actually meant that most of us don’t start making repayments until we’re earning a decent wedge. Would cutting the costs for students mean they start stumping up on a lower salary? Many questions are unanswered.
Hundreds of students apply for a sugar daddy
You know what Miliband, cut the bloody fees.
Apparently, nearly 2,000 UK students have signed up to a website which offers to match them with “sugar daddies”. We’ve decided not to name it.
The “businessman” behind the website claims that his service is necessary, as students are likelier to fall into debt than find a good job after they graduate. Well, he sounds optimistic.
It seems Westminster students were keenest to find a match, as it had the most sign ups out of any university in the UK.
Our take: This type of website is a really dangerous road to take. There are far more effective, satisfying (and safer) ways to make money – just take a look at this snazzy list of 40 ideas we’ve got right here! Seriously, anything can be better than hooking up with a Hugh Hefner stunt double on a yacht.
Gadgets are leaving us knackered…
Ah, how we love technology. Without our laptops, phones and tablets, where would we watch 10 episodes of House of Cards in a row? Or bash out that 3,000-word essay in three hours? WHAT ABOUT THOSE EPIC CAT GIFS – HOW WOULD WE SEE THOSE, HUH?!
The sad thing is, we students seem to naturally enjoy such activities late at night. And according to scientists, those midnight Netflix binges and exam cramming sessions are leaving us with serious sleep problems.
According to the British Medical Journal, spending an hour glued to a bright screen before bedtime makes it 50% likelier that we’ll take more than 60 minutes to doze off.
And as most students indulge in some bedtime browsing, no wonder we’re zombies in morning lectures.
Our take: No one’s saying that you need to listen to a CD of whale noises, make a chai tea and light some aromatic candles before bed. But switching off that pesky iPhone – and drooling over Kevin Spacey during daylight instead – sounds like a great way to stay alert.
…but look, a place to nap in uni!
Actually, forget everything we talked about in that last news story. The University of East Anglia has just won the battle in epic things to do for your students, after opening a devoted sleeping room on their campus.
It looks amazing snugly – with bean bags and huge pillows littered all over the place – and lucky (but tired) students can pop on an eye mask and doze for 40 minutes if they want a break from the library or have time to kill between lectures.
There’s CCTV to keep things strictly PG, and you’ll be woken up if you exceed the time limit. “It’s not a hostel,” the university snootily explains.
Our take: As power naps can give your productivity a 25% boost, this is an epic idea. It’s just a shame that it isn’t open 24 hours a day, though. Trust me: reading about the agricultural development of Tunisia at 4am is enough to make… er, make anyone fall asleeeeedcfsgyyyyyygdfngsthet;’/./…../////////////////
Homesick Britons fight US chocolate ban
If you’ve got any mates studying in the US, shed a tear for them now. Hershey – one of the biggest producers of chocolate in America – has managed to ban Cadbury’s from being sold in any shops in the States.
Every expat’s heart broke at the news, not least because the English version of Dairy Milk tastes 12,345,325% times better than its American equivalent (that statistic might not be scientific). The reason why is easy: in the UK, milk is the main ingredient; in the US, it’s sugar.
Hershey argued that it had to stop the chocolate from being imported from the UK because the wrapping looked too similar. But let’s be honest: have you ever bought a Toffee Crisp thinking it was Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups? Pshh.
Our take: My bold plans to travel Route 66, sip on Jack and learn to surf in California have been left in ruins. This ruling implies that Hershey thinks its customers are stupid – but given how the public has launched a petition demanding they drop the ban, it seems they’ve massively underestimated us Brits. #EndTheChocBlock
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